'Disappearing Act' 2017-2018
During my adolescence, I endured continuous sexual trauma from multiple people. The ongoing exposure to extreme stress and fear has severely impacted my short and long-term memory. Any past experience, whether it was pleasant or traumatic, can be hard for me to recall.
It's difficult to be engaged in the world when my brain is working against me. Even though I'm an adult now, I still feel like a child. The more I look back at my past, the more distorted my memory gets. Moments feel liquid: like putty slipping through my hands. As time continues, more of my life seems to fade away and when it disappears I cannot get it back. The people I love and the places that surround me will continue to change despite my brain being unable to keep up. I wonder if the dust will ever settle.